Between the Manager and the Crow

This conversation happened amongst a group of friends. I have retained just the interesting comments.

A: How do u put the following in professional English “A crow dropped its excreta over me”?
B: Err… I am in deep shit..!!??!!

A: I had to go home and change. I have to explain it to my Manager in an email. I don’t want it to sound overtly funny.
B: How about “Crow droppings fell on me” ? or maybe “I was standing under a crow when it decided to excrete”

A: I am already in deep shit here thanks to my workload. Please don’t give me more crap.
B: The mail is to your manager after all, send this: “The crow gave me what you usually give me”

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