Wednesday, May 27

Humor

Cook vs Eat – The Biryani Blunder
Humor

Cook vs Eat – The Biryani Blunder

This was a weekday sometime last month, out of the blue – I wanted to cook Biryani (Indian Rice Pilaf or something similar). It is a dish that my husband loves(though not necessarily the veg version). So, I mentally devised a plan where in I would try and make my husband ask me to cook biryani. That way, I figured I could use the guilt points to my benefit some other day. How it transpired in my mind: Me: I feel like eating Biryani. J: Why don’t you cook some? Me: Sure. If you say so but you do know the amount of work that is involved…blah blah. How it transpired: Me: I feel like eating Biryani. J: Let me take you out for dinner tonight. You pick the restaurant. Me: What!!??!! He couldn’t stop laughing after I confessed my plans to score some brownie points by...
A Hairy Tale Indeed
Humor

A Hairy Tale Indeed

I am not a vain woman but I do have some weird tendencies that might make me seem like one. I would never share this story were it not for a friend who said that the trait is not unique to me and his wife possesses a similar tendency. With just a few discrete inquiries, I found out that several of my friends (or their wives) share this trait. So here goes nothing… Whenever I get my eyebrows shaped, I expect my husband to notice and compliment me (however undeserving the situation be).  Almost every time, he doesn’t notice. So, I get offended that the love of my life does not take an interest in my appearance. He says it is trivial enough not to matter on the grand scheme of things. Things usually go downhill from there. I would never in a million years have expected this to backfire ...
Humor

Requirements Gone Wrong!

As an IT Consultant, getting and giving the right requirements mean the difference between success and failure. This is one example where my requirements weren’t as specific as I had hoped it would be. Growing up in India with my big family, cricket was a religion. It was sacred. When Team India played, everything else took a back bench. Everyone would gather around the television and the entire day was spent watching the match (sometimes 5 days in a row) and then the next few days will be spent dissecting the match. Though, at one point in time, I did enjoy the game – this utter dedication drove me to the brink of craziness. As I grew up and the thoughts of an ideal husband started evolving in my mind, 1 thing kept coming to me recurrently. I will under no circumstances marry someone ...
A Pound of Flesh for Refinance
Humor

A Pound of Flesh for Refinance

It was a couple of years since I had bought my house. The interest rates had dipped since I had taken the Mortgage. This was a perfect time to utilize refinancing options. Luckily, one my close friends is a lender. I discussed my options with her and agreed upon a refinance plan. She said she will send a list of documents that are required for the process in an email. She warned me that the list would be quite an extensive one. A day later, she sent me a professional email including her colleagues with the following list. Hello XYZ, As per our discussion, the following are required for Home Loan Refinance Last 2 Pay Stubs Tax Returns for current year W2s for last 2 years Homeowners Insurance Title Insurance Current mortgage statements Home equity loans Credit card St...
Humor

Hungry for Etiquette

This past Friday, a friend and I volunteered\participated in a Shuttle Badminton Tournament. We expected the event to go on until around 5-6 pm in the evening. However due to many participants, it ended much later in the evening than we expected. We had our lunch at around 12:30 pm in the afternoon and we got busy with the volunteering activity and our matched post that. Food wasn’t really a priority. After the event ended at 10:30 pm, we stayed back to help with cleaning the place. At 11 pm, while driving home, exhaustion hit us bad and we decided to stop for food. We stopped at Eddie’s Place Restaurant. I ordered a bowl of lobster Soup and my friend asked for a plate of pot stickers and Wings. My food was served with a Soup spoon, 2 pieces of bread and 2 packets of butter. I used t...
What’s in a Name ?
Humor

What’s in a Name ?

As a rule, a bunch of colleagues head out for lunch on every Friday. We try out different restaurants in the area. There is this one restaurant that most of us love and pretty much have our 'Usual' defined. Today, we had been to this restaurant. I asked for my favorite - Cashew Nut Rice. Stir fried veggies in a special gravy, rice on the side and golden brown roasted cashew nuts on top. When we were served, the cashews were no where in sight. I called the waitress and asked her about this. She dismissed me and said they are below the veggies. Surprised that they had changed the way they serve their food, I took my fork and shifted the veggies around searching for my much loved cashew nuts. But Nope, no cashews were to be found in my plate. I called out to the waitress again and pointed ...
Humor

English We-nglish

Before coming to the USA, I had always been prepared to face difficulties related to accents. As difficult as it is for me as an Asian-Indian, to understand other foreign accents, it is equally difficult for the others to understand the distinct Indian Accent. But more than the accents, I faced difficulties in the way words are used and so did many others with whom I had a chance to discover my adventures. Here are a few of my experiences: 1. This was at a local Store near my place and was within the first week of me landing in the US. I wanted a couple of postage Stamps as I had to mail something to another part of the USA. I walked to the counter and asked for couple of stamps and when I asked how much it was, the man at the counter said ‘Dollar Ten’. When I looked up at him blankly, ...
The Full Circle
Humor

The Full Circle

For the uninitiated, the Hierarchy at the IT Office where I work is as follows: Software Developer Reports to the Business Analyst who reports to the Project Manager who takes inputs from the Data Architect, who in turn, may at times consult the Solution Architect. Software Developer to Business Analyst: For the files I have been asked to build, is there any specific order to be followed or can I start with the easiest one first. Business Analyst: Let me check with the Project Manager. Business Analyst to Project Manager: The files do not seem to be interconnected. Can I ask the developer to build the files according to the level of ease? Project Manager: Let me check with the Data Architect. Project Manager to Data Architect: I have been asked if there is an explicit sequence ...
A Little Bit of Magic
Humor

A Little Bit of Magic

I had been to Broadway-Cochin. It is a street famous for shopping. It is said that if you are shopping and you find yourself on sale at one of the shops then you are at Broadway-Cochin. I wandered into a shop selling all sorts of plants. I was looking for a particular variety of plant and I had a hunch that I would find it here. The minute I entered the shop most of the attendants there started helping me at their earnest. There were other customers too, but I got the special treatment and I never really gave it a second thought. After about 15 minutes, I got the plant that I wanted. I went to the counter and paid for it. He asked me if I wanted it wrapped. Since it was a dried plant, I asked him to wrap it in a paper. He asked me if I wanted it gift-wrapped. I said no, took the plan...
Humor

Outsmarted by the Parents

You all might have heard the Russel Peters joke where he threatens to call the child services and his dad gets better of him. Well, I have my version of it. This happened when I was 11 years old. I heard a friend describe how she gets her mom to do whatever she wants. She said she would huff and puff and refuse to eat dinner and go and sit in her room. The mom usually came to her room with a plate of food in a little while and coaxed her to eat while agreeing to all her demands. I being the 'Smart' one decided to give it a try. After all it wouldn't hurt - or so I thought. I waited for an opportunity where my parents disagreed with something I wanted. I told my sister we would get what we wanted if she just acted along. At 9 pm, we huffed and puffed and we announced that we will not ...